I
was never a great student at school. I belonged to the category of
students of whom the teacher’s might think ‘too stupid worth teaching’
It was true in my case. I really was a below average student in every
aspect, such as studies, arts, sports etc…I always had a backseat for
these things (I still do!). I never had a group of guys around who
considered me as the next big thing in the Universe, But they considered
me as the worst thing in the Universe. Sometimes you need to possess a
talent for things like this too, I was an all time gold medalist in that
case. Trust me, I was not a typical spoiled brat, I was a strange
spoiled Idiot. That was me. Only me.
It was in the tenth grade that I regularly started noticing the greatest beauty of Nature, Girls. I was a boy and of course a boy must send his eyes to a girl, admiring her glorious beauty, even if it is partly makeup, Boys don’t mind otherwise. Girls on the other hand turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to Me. Yes, I was physically idiotic too.A dark complexioned, nail biting guy, who also has braces stuck to his teeth. I have always been a towering figure in school for my acts of misbehaviour, which was not done intentionally. Just take it as part of growing pains. The teachers and my classmates had big trouble with me, they often misinterpreted my words. I took all those as part of something which is yet to be familiar to me, even now. People are strange.
So, coming to the girls part. Girls always looked upon me as a dumb, stupid fellow, to them almost everyone is stupid. But I never tried a lot of tricks to impress them since I have already made a strong impression on them. Unlike the other boys girls usually detest my company. I was not always happy with that, but I did not try to change their attitude towards me. I myself has always being a loner, therefore, I didn’t actually care. Things were smooth like that. It was not always like that anyway. Sometimes you never really know what comes in your way, in the form of the most strangest and the strongest emotion in the Universe – Love.
Yes I was in Love, with a girl. A girl who never missed a day to grab my attention. Her name was Aarthi, she was undoubtedly the most beautiful girl in the school, fair skin, hazel eyes, beautifully drafted nose, sweet voice, had a decent height etc.. In short she was a blend of everything. A perfect Girl. Every boy’s dream or otherwise dream personified. She was brilliant in academics too. A well known figure and definitely a teacher’s pet. Mine too. Or in other words, I wished her to be. Moreover I was more of a nightmare to the teachers than a pet. She might have thought that befriending someone like me might damage her image as that of a ‘good girl’ in the entire school.
I never lost an opportunity to converse with her even if it was limited to a word or two, I was on cloud nine. I would be in a state of being carried away by overwhelming emotion. However, she to mastered the art of ignoring me just like the other girls did. They say that ignorance is bliss, but if you ask I would say that ignorance is a torture that is worse than hell. The intensity is higher if you are ignored by a girl.
An year passed within a blink of a eye, we students were busy preparing for the boards, I tried my best to drift my thoughts away from Aarthi because all my attempts in grabbing her attention went in vain. My friends ‘so called inglorious cupids’ also joined me in my mission but we failed successfully. Girls will not help boys in these you know, especially if ‘that boy’ is me. Thanks to my popularity in the whole school.
Until that fateful day arrived. Our Farewell Party.
All the boys and girls were present in their best attires. It was going into a newly inaugurated textile showroom. It was a riot of colours. The teachers were well dressed too. Aarthi was looking extremely stunning. She was clad in a pink salwar khameez, the colour really suited her, she was looking like a fairy who has just landed from the heavens. I was dressed in a casual shirt and black jeans. All of us were in the mood of partying, there was food too. Great food. The food was arranged by us students for ourselves and the teaching faculty, Of course, they did not mind gobbling up everything. Thank to us. Our money too, completely.
I really wanted to open up my mind to Aarthi, because if it is not today, then it will never happen again, since we’ll be in different schools after the exams, perhaps she may not be, but I was sure about me. This school surely did have the tolerance to tolerate me again. I was positive about that. I searched for her in the party hall, it was difficult to spot her, she was gleaming in her attire. She was standing with a group with of other girls of our class. It would a herculean task to pull her out for a small talk. But sometimes love takes the better of you. I gathered up my wits and went up to her.
‘Excuse Me’, I started. I still don’t know how I made that up, my whole body was vibrating and my voice was quivering at that particular moment. She turned to me and answered in her sweet voice ‘Yes’. The reply was like a cool breeze. I would be taking liberty from those toothpaste advertisements.
‘Can I talk to you for a minute’, I asked her.
She looked perplexed. She stood there for a minute. I thought she might be reading my mind. And I was aware that I was being watched by the others. Her friends. All of them had their eyes on me. I was feeling like an alien, the others boys were engaged in some other activities regarding the function which was going to take place soon. I took a break from those things, or maybe it was a little too soon. I decided that I will approach her after all the excitement has died out.
‘What’ she shot at me.
I did not take long to answer. I just mumbled ‘nothing’ and moved from the spot. I turned back on the move, I could see the girls whispering among one another making occasional glances at me. I understood that I was the topic of their discussion. I must be the one anyway.
After long 3 hours, the get together finally came to an end. The decibels of shouts and screams began to decrease gradually. I found this as the right time to convey my feelings for Aarathi. Most of the benches were empty as the students were outside after the lunch, almost all the boys and a few girls, there was a cake cutting ceremony in which each student got a ‘cake-facial’ from one another. It was fun.
I seized the opportunity and sat near Aarathi. I did not make an eye contact with her. But to my surprise she came up to me and asked ‘What did you want to tell me earlier?, tell me now’ she said.
I was flabbergasted. My body suddenly turned numb. I did not know what to say in return. My mind went blank at that moment.
‘ Forgot what you wanted say’? she added a wonderfully cute smile to that.
I looked around the room, just to know whether anyone was watching. Luckily not yet.
‘Oh.. I mean..I..’ I began stammer. I felt really uneasy at this point. Its very embarrassing to stammer in front of a girl, especially she initiated the conversation.
‘Go on, I am not going to eat you up Gautam’ she was giving me courage to speak.
I liked that. ‘I …well, I Lo….’ off I went again.
I was sweating. My heartbeats doubled its actual rate. I felt a lump in my throats followed by a occasional gulps. Seeing my helpless state, she said something, something blew my mind away and send it through the skies and into the Milky Way Galaxy.I did not expect those words escape her mouth soon. Too soon.
‘You Love me, don’t you’ .
She asked with a straight face, devoid of expression. I was taken aback. I was totally floored. Speechless.It seemed as if the world has stopped spinning. I knew she might be knowing it but I never expected her to shoot that arrow right at me. Direct face to face.
‘How did you know’ I asked her.
‘I knew it all the time Gautam, your actions depicted that the whole time’.
I was taken aback again, she has noticed my looking at her. I did that always though.
‘I am sorry but I’ I started to tremble again.
‘No sorries Gautam, it is not a great sin’ she smiled once more.
I barely tied to put up a smile. ‘ Please don’t take me wrong, but I really like you’, I said. I finally completed a whole sentence in front of her.
‘ Hey, no problem, but you see, we are about to face our board exams very soon, sometimes we may part ways after that or maybe sometimes not, so, these things are not relevant at the moment, Its true we have known each other for the past 4 years, but the game of love is not on the cards for me right now, and it won’t be for the next couple of years’.
I just kept looking at her, listening to her words.
She continued, ‘You might have feelings, but I have not felt the same for you and or anyone else, I have to make up a good career and stand on my own feet, till then please excuse me from this, But if we can keep good contact with each other and get updated even after we finish school and college and if you still have the same feelings that you have for me now, we’ll try and work out then’ she finished her lecture with a bright smile.
I let a huge sigh, and replied, ‘Alright and All the best for your Exams’ I wished her and we shook hands.
Then a friend called her from outside and she left me waving me a bye. I was left in the room, I saw her wlk away from my sight, her words were still ringing in my ears. I smiled at that, the straightforwardness she had to tell me what she wanted rather than causing a tantrum. It was hard to find mature girls like her these days. So much in her 15 year old brain. She was great. Really Great. I carried myself again. I did not feel lonely, but I was happy. Happy because she spoke to me, she spoke her mind .I was content with that and I had great respect for her.
The board exams knocked our doors and we got busy with that. I passed out with a mere second class. She had got a distinction. I was happy for her. As she said, we parted ways. I changed my school. I never saw her after that. But she is still a sweet memory in mind, (Yes I got my mind back from the Galaxy). But still I can’t help falling in love with her.
I wish to meet her someday and refresh our friendship, that’s it, I just want her as a friend and nothing more.
May God shower all his blessings for her, that’s my prayer.
‘Love cannot cannot to be told in words, It has to be felt’.
Goodbye…
__END__
It was in the tenth grade that I regularly started noticing the greatest beauty of Nature, Girls. I was a boy and of course a boy must send his eyes to a girl, admiring her glorious beauty, even if it is partly makeup, Boys don’t mind otherwise. Girls on the other hand turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to Me. Yes, I was physically idiotic too.A dark complexioned, nail biting guy, who also has braces stuck to his teeth. I have always been a towering figure in school for my acts of misbehaviour, which was not done intentionally. Just take it as part of growing pains. The teachers and my classmates had big trouble with me, they often misinterpreted my words. I took all those as part of something which is yet to be familiar to me, even now. People are strange.
So, coming to the girls part. Girls always looked upon me as a dumb, stupid fellow, to them almost everyone is stupid. But I never tried a lot of tricks to impress them since I have already made a strong impression on them. Unlike the other boys girls usually detest my company. I was not always happy with that, but I did not try to change their attitude towards me. I myself has always being a loner, therefore, I didn’t actually care. Things were smooth like that. It was not always like that anyway. Sometimes you never really know what comes in your way, in the form of the most strangest and the strongest emotion in the Universe – Love.
Yes I was in Love, with a girl. A girl who never missed a day to grab my attention. Her name was Aarthi, she was undoubtedly the most beautiful girl in the school, fair skin, hazel eyes, beautifully drafted nose, sweet voice, had a decent height etc.. In short she was a blend of everything. A perfect Girl. Every boy’s dream or otherwise dream personified. She was brilliant in academics too. A well known figure and definitely a teacher’s pet. Mine too. Or in other words, I wished her to be. Moreover I was more of a nightmare to the teachers than a pet. She might have thought that befriending someone like me might damage her image as that of a ‘good girl’ in the entire school.
I never lost an opportunity to converse with her even if it was limited to a word or two, I was on cloud nine. I would be in a state of being carried away by overwhelming emotion. However, she to mastered the art of ignoring me just like the other girls did. They say that ignorance is bliss, but if you ask I would say that ignorance is a torture that is worse than hell. The intensity is higher if you are ignored by a girl.
An year passed within a blink of a eye, we students were busy preparing for the boards, I tried my best to drift my thoughts away from Aarthi because all my attempts in grabbing her attention went in vain. My friends ‘so called inglorious cupids’ also joined me in my mission but we failed successfully. Girls will not help boys in these you know, especially if ‘that boy’ is me. Thanks to my popularity in the whole school.
Until that fateful day arrived. Our Farewell Party.
All the boys and girls were present in their best attires. It was going into a newly inaugurated textile showroom. It was a riot of colours. The teachers were well dressed too. Aarthi was looking extremely stunning. She was clad in a pink salwar khameez, the colour really suited her, she was looking like a fairy who has just landed from the heavens. I was dressed in a casual shirt and black jeans. All of us were in the mood of partying, there was food too. Great food. The food was arranged by us students for ourselves and the teaching faculty, Of course, they did not mind gobbling up everything. Thank to us. Our money too, completely.
I really wanted to open up my mind to Aarthi, because if it is not today, then it will never happen again, since we’ll be in different schools after the exams, perhaps she may not be, but I was sure about me. This school surely did have the tolerance to tolerate me again. I was positive about that. I searched for her in the party hall, it was difficult to spot her, she was gleaming in her attire. She was standing with a group with of other girls of our class. It would a herculean task to pull her out for a small talk. But sometimes love takes the better of you. I gathered up my wits and went up to her.
‘Excuse Me’, I started. I still don’t know how I made that up, my whole body was vibrating and my voice was quivering at that particular moment. She turned to me and answered in her sweet voice ‘Yes’. The reply was like a cool breeze. I would be taking liberty from those toothpaste advertisements.
‘Can I talk to you for a minute’, I asked her.
She looked perplexed. She stood there for a minute. I thought she might be reading my mind. And I was aware that I was being watched by the others. Her friends. All of them had their eyes on me. I was feeling like an alien, the others boys were engaged in some other activities regarding the function which was going to take place soon. I took a break from those things, or maybe it was a little too soon. I decided that I will approach her after all the excitement has died out.
‘What’ she shot at me.
I did not take long to answer. I just mumbled ‘nothing’ and moved from the spot. I turned back on the move, I could see the girls whispering among one another making occasional glances at me. I understood that I was the topic of their discussion. I must be the one anyway.
After long 3 hours, the get together finally came to an end. The decibels of shouts and screams began to decrease gradually. I found this as the right time to convey my feelings for Aarathi. Most of the benches were empty as the students were outside after the lunch, almost all the boys and a few girls, there was a cake cutting ceremony in which each student got a ‘cake-facial’ from one another. It was fun.
I seized the opportunity and sat near Aarathi. I did not make an eye contact with her. But to my surprise she came up to me and asked ‘What did you want to tell me earlier?, tell me now’ she said.
I was flabbergasted. My body suddenly turned numb. I did not know what to say in return. My mind went blank at that moment.
‘ Forgot what you wanted say’? she added a wonderfully cute smile to that.
I looked around the room, just to know whether anyone was watching. Luckily not yet.
‘Oh.. I mean..I..’ I began stammer. I felt really uneasy at this point. Its very embarrassing to stammer in front of a girl, especially she initiated the conversation.
‘Go on, I am not going to eat you up Gautam’ she was giving me courage to speak.
I liked that. ‘I …well, I Lo….’ off I went again.
I was sweating. My heartbeats doubled its actual rate. I felt a lump in my throats followed by a occasional gulps. Seeing my helpless state, she said something, something blew my mind away and send it through the skies and into the Milky Way Galaxy.I did not expect those words escape her mouth soon. Too soon.
‘You Love me, don’t you’ .
She asked with a straight face, devoid of expression. I was taken aback. I was totally floored. Speechless.It seemed as if the world has stopped spinning. I knew she might be knowing it but I never expected her to shoot that arrow right at me. Direct face to face.
‘How did you know’ I asked her.
‘I knew it all the time Gautam, your actions depicted that the whole time’.
I was taken aback again, she has noticed my looking at her. I did that always though.
‘I am sorry but I’ I started to tremble again.
‘No sorries Gautam, it is not a great sin’ she smiled once more.
I barely tied to put up a smile. ‘ Please don’t take me wrong, but I really like you’, I said. I finally completed a whole sentence in front of her.
‘ Hey, no problem, but you see, we are about to face our board exams very soon, sometimes we may part ways after that or maybe sometimes not, so, these things are not relevant at the moment, Its true we have known each other for the past 4 years, but the game of love is not on the cards for me right now, and it won’t be for the next couple of years’.
I just kept looking at her, listening to her words.
She continued, ‘You might have feelings, but I have not felt the same for you and or anyone else, I have to make up a good career and stand on my own feet, till then please excuse me from this, But if we can keep good contact with each other and get updated even after we finish school and college and if you still have the same feelings that you have for me now, we’ll try and work out then’ she finished her lecture with a bright smile.
I let a huge sigh, and replied, ‘Alright and All the best for your Exams’ I wished her and we shook hands.
Then a friend called her from outside and she left me waving me a bye. I was left in the room, I saw her wlk away from my sight, her words were still ringing in my ears. I smiled at that, the straightforwardness she had to tell me what she wanted rather than causing a tantrum. It was hard to find mature girls like her these days. So much in her 15 year old brain. She was great. Really Great. I carried myself again. I did not feel lonely, but I was happy. Happy because she spoke to me, she spoke her mind .I was content with that and I had great respect for her.
The board exams knocked our doors and we got busy with that. I passed out with a mere second class. She had got a distinction. I was happy for her. As she said, we parted ways. I changed my school. I never saw her after that. But she is still a sweet memory in mind, (Yes I got my mind back from the Galaxy). But still I can’t help falling in love with her.
I wish to meet her someday and refresh our friendship, that’s it, I just want her as a friend and nothing more.
May God shower all his blessings for her, that’s my prayer.
‘Love cannot cannot to be told in words, It has to be felt’.
Goodbye…
__END__
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